Today we’re going to start doing some really fun stuff so club members get excited because what you’re going to build today is muscle, that muscle that you need to make you stronger but it’s not stronger in terms of going to the gym. It’s stronger in terms of your confidence because it’s a myth to think that you don’t have confidence. You’ve got tons of confidence. We’re just creating more and together today what we are going to do is develop one of the strongest tools in your arsenal, in your, if you think about the equipment that you need to get strong, this is a very important piece of equipment. I want you to think of it that way. It’s called your power phrase.
Now, the reason why you’re going to develop a power phrase, which is different from your mantra, is because this is a phrase that you can quickly go to when you’re having a moment that you don’t know if you can get through it. You don’t know if you can do it even though you know you should. Where you have self doubt, where you have uncertainty, where you’re not sure of the outcome but you know you need to do this thing. You’ve got to get through it. You’ve just got to buckle down and realize that it’s going to be okay. In interviewing, literally dozens and dozens of people who have had to get through something extremely difficult, that’s the one thing I find in common, is they have this power phrase that immediately triggers them to remember, “I’ve got this. I’m going to get through it.”
I want to share with you a story. By the way, I asked permission to share this story. My friend, Doris Hughes, is one of the first people I met when I moved to Southern California and I was, eventually got a job, teaching fitness classes and then I went full force into it and I started managing a local, actually a bunch of clubs within a big chain here in Southern California. Doris was one of the very first instructors that I met and we instantly had this connection. She was a new mom and I was a new mom. We both had a son about the same age. I think hers was maybe a year older than mine. I immediately had this connection with her, and how important it was to be great moms, and how both of us believed like our husbands and our families came first. We immediately had that connection and even though we were really work acquaintances, I just really liked and admired her.
Then about maybe 5 years after I met her I remembering hearing that she was going through just a really horrific divorce. Just, without sharing too many details really had the rug pulled out from underneath her. It broke my heart. I couldn’t stop crying thinking about it, thinking about myself being in that position. I knew her son and I knew how hard this was going to be for her so I reached out to her, and I called her, and I just said, “Hey, I heard what you’re going through and I want to let you know I’m there for you. Are you okay?” She kept kind of saying to me, “No, I’m going to be amazing. God is good.” She just kept saying that, “God is good,” and I thought, oh okay well she was probably a person of faith.
Then I ran into her like a year later, maybe it was 6 months later, and same thing, she was like, “I’m getting back on my feet.” I could tell she wasn’t the same yet but she’s like, “But it’s going to be okay. I’m going to be amazing, and God is good.” She just always said that phrase and it was until I started creating this program and thinking about people who’ve been through some really tough times, and had to do really challenging things, and been to a place in their life where they had self doubt and uncertainty. She was one of the first stories that I remembered. Even though I hadn’t talked to her in years I remembered her always saying, “God is good,” and so I was sharing that with the crew here. Lauren, and I, and Lisa, and Tiffany, and Irene, we were all talking about that story right? Then that same day I got a text message from her. I didn’t text her but like the universe does this and it’s so flipping cool. I asked her if I could have permission. It gives me goose bumps.
Here’s the text I got from her the very day I told that story. Remember, that story didn’t come to me until we were all sitting around the table talking about your power phrase, and how I realized that wasn’t her just being like suddenly religious. That was her power phrase. Here’s what she said to me, “Hey, I just want to check in with you and tell you I’m amazing. It’s funny because I told you 12 years ago when my first husband left me and you called to see how I was doing I told you I would be amazing. I said that when I get through this I will be amazing. We will be amazing. I just want to let you know that I am with my new husband, Bob, and we are now celebrating 10 amazing years of marriage on the South Pacific on a beautiful cruise and my son is great. So I say with gratitude I am amazing. I love you.”
Here’s my reply back. I go, “Dude are you tripping me out right now. I was just telling the story about you and how we knew each other,” and I kind of went over the whole thing I just told you right, and I said, “So I’m just curious, was that your power phrase? Is that something you always said or is something you were saying to get you through?” She said, “I’ve always known in my heart that God is good all the time and not always when I was in happy, healthy places, but when things are not right in your life you need something like that. I did cling to that phrase. I did tell myself that God brought me to this and he would bring me through it. You need to learn these lessons in hardship or you’ll stay there. I did remind myself daily that I would be able to get through it, that I would be amazing, and that yes, divorce was a disappointment and it shattered dreams. Yes I was broken but I would be amazing. Really, my life is so much better by what I went through. You also know who your real friends are because they call and check in on you.”
Pretty cool, huh? I’ve talked to so many people and I want to share with you because I bet you have one and maybe you just haven’t even identified it. You didn’t even realize that that’s your phrase. For me, my power phrase is, “That’s not true.” It might not seem like that’s a power phrase but I say that to correct myself when I think a negative thought. Like for example if I’m walking into a situation where I think, “Oh people are going to think I’m not that smart,” or “What does this girl think she’s talking about because she’s a fitness person.” Whenever I hear uncertainty and doubt in my head, and I start to tell myself a lie I correct myself and I say, “That’s not true.” Whenever I do that, or like “I’m going to quit. I can’t keep doing this. I’m too tired. I need to stop.” I just stop myself by saying, “That’s not true. That’s not true.”
People probably don’t know this but whenever I film a fitness video and you hear me say, “You’re not tired. You’re not tired,” it’s because in my own head I’m correcting myself going, “Man I’m tired. This is hard,” and I can’t stop because the cameras are rolling so I have to tell myself, “That’s not true. That’s not true,” and then I just say aloud, which would seem weird in a fitness video if I’m like, “That’s not true,” so instead I yell, “You’re not tired!” I’m really coaching myself. So, like what’s your phrase? I’m going to share with you some others. These are hopefully inspirational and maybe there’s some you’re like, “Oh yeah, that’s what I say.”
Here’s another one, “Oh no you don’t. Oh no you don’t,” where you try to talk yourself out of something, or make excuses, or let that little voice in your head talk you out of something. How about this, “It’s not going to kill you.” “You can get through it.” “You know the truth so do it.” “All is well.” “Everything’s going to be okay, all is well.” “Feel the fear and do it anyways.” “I’ve got this.” “I’ll show them, I’ll show them.” What is your power phrase? Think about what you, because you’ve said it to yourself before, in that you’re like, “Ah, I don’t want to do this and I know I have to. Dang it, I know I have to do this and I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.” What’s your phrase? What do you say to yourself? What do you say to yourself in that moment?
It doesn’t have to be this huge thing but I do want you to put it in writing, okay, because you’re going to use that phrase and remind yourself that it’s always there for you. Every time you use that phrase, and you follow through, and you do something that builds confidence, even if it’s not a huge success, you end up better for it. That’s Doris’ story. It wasn’t a pretty thing but she knew she would get through it, and she knew she’d be better for it. That’s what happens when we do scary things we know we need to do. What’s your power phrase? Write it down on paper and please, as always, share it with the club.
