When we understand how our mindset is formed, it allows us to have a much easier time remodeling our current beliefs. Some of the earliest influences in shaping our thoughts come, as you would expect, from the people who:
- Cared for us
- Were around us
- Influenced us
- Labeled us
I grew up in a family with three kids and I was the oldest (I have a younger sister and a younger brother). My parents never intended for their comparisons — among us siblings — to be negative in any way, but they would say things, like:
- “Oh, Chalene is our outgoing / loud / wild one.”
- “Jenelle is the shy one.”
- “He’s the baby!”
Labeling, of any kind, even when seemingly positive (e.g., the athlete, the student, the tall one, etc.), can often result in limiting beliefs about oneself.
The labels, dialogue, conversation and beliefs we’re exposed to as children — that external dialogue — all shape our mindset.
And it’s not just the words we hear, it’s:
- The habits instilled upon us
- The language we hear
- The actions and behaviors we see
Imagine a young girl who always sees her mother pulling at her clothes, holding her stomach in and looking at herself in the mirror with disgust — and, not to mention, doesn’t eat dinner with the family. How could there not be a negative message about body image and diet programmed into the young daughter?
Now, that external messaging we receive often results in an internal dialogue.
Children begin to model what they see. They begin to repeat things they don’t even understand and convince themselves of things they may not know or have evidence of.
That is where the beginning of what makes up our mindset is formed. It’s almost a brainwashing of sorts, to be honest.
So, we repeat these beliefs subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, in our heads over and over again. Think about it. Haven’t you stood in front of a mirror and said something negative to yourself at some point in your life? Maybe even this morning.
And then you’ve repeated that negative comment while you’re driving, doing the dishes, folding the laundry… until that internal dialogue becomes a deep groove in your brain. Almost like a record that skips in the same spot every single time. (Did that analogy just severely date me?)
We repeat these “truths” to ourselves constantly even if we don’t 100% believe them — until we do believe them.
Hence, our mindset is established.
The reason I want you to think about this is…
When we understand how mindsets are created, then we understand what it takes to improve upon it. Because your beliefs determine the outcome!
For much more on this super important topic, like:
- Why and how we self-sabotage in an effort to protect our beliefs (even when they don’t serve us)
- Why you must clean house (e.g., social media, people you decide to hang with) to change your mindset
- Personal anecdotes with people in my life who allowed their environment to dictate their mindset
Then, you must check out The Chalene Show episode below:
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly pods dedicated to your overall happiness, productivity, good health and relationships!