A child should never be made to feel like they’re an inconvenience or a second-place priority to your work or business. Now, I’m not going to play and tell you I always had an amazing balance with my work / family life. Because there was most definitely a time I was that mom who said things, like: “We can’t do your science project today. I’ve got this presentation I have to do!”
Here’s the thing, though, your child doesn’t forget that feeling of not being prioritized.
It’s imperative to catch yourself in those moments your work feels like it should take precedence; and see if you can find other ways of getting things done. Because, trust me, the last thing you want is for your child to resent the fact you’re building a business.
Do not use the excuse of…
“I want to give my kids everything that I never had!”
…as a justification for your work addiction or making your child a spoiled brat (i.e., giving them every material object they desire).
If you’re buying your kid a car, then how are they ever going to learn they can do that for themselves? All you’re doing is teaching them that they can’t provide for themselves.
If your reason for being gone every weekend at a work conference is to take care of your family, you need to examine the truth in that statement. Ask yourself,
“Is all this time apart really in my family’s best interest?”
A Parent Must Plan
If you’ve got kids, you can’t wing it in terms of your parenting and in terms of your work. I’m sorry, you chose to have children and you chose to have a business. God gave you the gift of both. And yes, it’s going to be harder for you. As Luke 12:48 states, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded.”
Things inevitably will be flipped upside down and life isn’t fair — that’s how it goes.
No matter how much structure you create, expect about 2% of the time for things to go as you planned.
Say no to opportunities that compromise your child’s secure attachment to you.
Bret and I made our decisions based on how they will affect our kids’ attachment to us. For example, I wouldn’t book out of town speaking engagements that meant we wouldn’t be a unit as parents together.
But, you’ll have to make up your own measure by which to abide.
Now, I do recommend to put THAT in writing! For much more on how Bret and I put our commitment to our kids (and each other) in writing, plus:
- Why you need to be very selective in choosing your mentors
- Dedicating as much time/ money on your skills as a parent as you do your professional development
- Why you shouldn’t use your kids as an excuse to quit your business
Then, check out The Chalene Show episode below:
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly (almost daily!) episodes that are geared toward getting your whole life right! Love you.