I’m going to share with you the ultimate template to write the perfect love letter. Valentine’s Day is next week, after all! Look, I don’t think there’s a better way for you to express deep gratitude, sincere appreciation, or love for someone. And, did you know, they are one of the best gifts you can give… yourself?
When you begin to think about your love or admiration or appreciation that you have for someone, as you think about it, it starts to grow. But the act of taking those thoughts and putting them in writing actually creates a swell of that feeling – releasing oxytocin into the brain. And that happens regardless of who you’re writing the love letter to.
Oxytocin is a very powerful hormone that does its thing when you feel love and practice gratitude. And I think there is no greater act of gratitude than writing a love letter.
Listen, I am big on love letters as you may or may not know. That’s the only thing I ever ask for. I don’t want gifts. Please don’t buy me something. I want a love letter. My kids know that. And my husband knows that.
Let’s jump on in, shall we!?
Each one of the following 6 steps, in and of itself, is a love note. When they’re combined, it makes the perfect love letter!
I want you to begin with writing out their name (just had to make that clear right out the gate)…
Number 1: Start with why you decided to write this today.
And you can say, “somebody asked me to think of someone who means the world to me and express to them how much I love and appreciate them… and your name came to mind.”
So, ultimately, why today of all days.
Number 2: List one quality many others might not see as being obvious about this person.
For example, when people write me a letter and they say, “You know, I love that you really honor your husband.” That’s kind of a unique thing that not the average person picks up on. Hence, that means to me that someone is really listening and really paying attention.
Number 3: Note at least one thing that you know is important to this person.
It might not necessarily be the thing that’s most important to you, but it’s something that’s really important to them. It’s either a quality that they’re working on or it’s something that they’re trying to be better at.
And then give it a specific example, like where you’ve seen it or why it is you admire this about them. Be very direct.
Number 4: Recall a time in the past when you can reference one of the qualities we just talked about – the qualities in number two and number three.
Number 5: Reference something about the future.
Perhaps your future together or something you’re excited about that’s going to be happening around the corner.
Number 6: Mention one very tiny, perhaps overlooked, action or behavior about them that makes you smile. It’s got to be something little that other people might not notice.
You know, a quality that they don’t even realize is important to you. It’s what makes them lovable. Why you appreciate them so darn much. It’s a small trait that really says you are paying attention and this person matters.
This is a great place to insert some humor!
And then your closing is your closing, but…
These letters don’t have to be long. They do need to, again, be specific.
That’s your six-part love letter, my friends! Again, you can take any one of these pieces and it becomes a love note. I encourage you, I challenge you, I urge you to send one of these. You can do it via text or write it on a Post-it to people in your family. Do one every single day this week. Just watch how it makes you feel. Notice how it makes other people respond to you.