We hear the term victim mentality thrown around a lot these days. One could argue that this particular personality trait, unfortunately, currently infects more people than ever. The reason for that is, perhaps, for another blog.
Today, I’d like to focus on bringing some clarity to the issue because I think millions and millions of people have no idea they’re currently living with this terribly negative state of mind.
I’d like you to answer the following questions in your head. Be honest with yourself and let’s identify if, in fact, you have a victim mentality.
#1: Do you feel sorry for yourself if things don’t work out the way you wanted them to?
Instead of confronting the situation head on — whether it’s with an individual or business related — you’ll allow yourself to retreat and feel sad. When people express their concern over how depressing your vibe is, you’re secretly hoping that your mood will have a deleterious effect on them.
#2: Do you sometimes label yourself because you feel it helps others understand things are tougher for you?
For example, you’re quick to let people know that you struggle with:
Or, maybe, you need to tell strangers that you:
- Had a troubled childhood
- Recently came out of an abusive marriage
- Filed for bankruptcy
See, there’s a good chance you do this to inform the world that this is who you are; it’s what you’re going through and how you define yourself.
Most likely, this is due to a subconscious need (aka victim mentality) to get others to treat you more gently.
I’m going to rapid fire the remaining questions…
#3: Do people sometimes accuse you of being too dramatic or too sensitive?
#4: Do you believe that you deserve to be happy and the fact you’re not has nothing to do with you, but, rather, external forces?
#5: Do you rarely disagree with people or share your opinion because you feel as if you won’t be heard?
#6: Do you act in a way that’s passive aggressive (e.g., give the silent treatment, gossiping, sulking, etc.) when you feel you’ve been wronged VS just expressing how you feel?
#7: Is it hard for you to trust people and, in turn, find yourself doing things just to test their integrity?
#8: When people wrong you, is it a challenge for you to let go and just move on? (Quietly, you often contemplate revenge!)
#9: In relationships, does it feel like you do more than other people (although you often find yourself being accused of being a taker)?
Question #10: Do you think people are generally too optimistic? (You see yourself as a realist who understands that life just isn’t fair)
If you found yourself relating to and agreeing with a lot of those questions, there’s a very good chance you’ve acquired an unidentified victim mentality.
And it’s time for all these negative thought patterns and behaviors to stop!
Listen to The Chalene Show podcast below to learn what to do about your victim mentality so that you can live your best, most authentic life!
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