There are always exceptions to this, but, generally, parents shouldn’t correct or criticize their child — even when the intent is just to simply be helpful.
Picture it: A young girl comes into her mother’s room really proud of the outfit she has picked out. The mother gives a once-over and says something, like:
- “That blouse doesn’t match those pants.”
- “Definitely swap the shoes.”
- “The pants aren’t fitting quite right.”
When you continually correct your child’s art, you’re ultimately putting down their best effort.
So, while you’re trying to nudge them to get it right or make it perfect, they’re hearing,
“You’re not good enough!”
For those of us who are know-it-alls (yeah, guilty as charged)…
Sure, we just want to correct / fix everything and we do it from the best place possible — but we must remember how damaging this can be to a child.
Because these are the children who:
- Believe they have to be perfect
- Never trust they’ll figure things out
- Assume they’re always going to get it wrong
- Fear making their own decisions
- Don’t take risks
Thoughts that run through this child’s head are,
“Why should I even bother? I’ll never get it right!”
This is the child who doesn’t believe they’re good enough to ask for more. And, one day, turns into an adult afraid to step into their greatness, settling for a:
- Spouse whom they know isn’t right for them
- Job that’s unfulfilling
- Life that doesn’t really make them happy
Look, as parents, it can be crazy challenging to refrain from the habit to correct our kids. And it’s even harder to discern the exact right time to offer up such constructive criticism.
And Lord knows it’s a common thing to continue doing — correct, fix, criticize — even as your child gets older.
But I’m telling you that the age of the child is irrelevant. They can be 3 or 33 years old and the message is received exactly the same way.
This blog covers just ONE mistake I feel parents often make, but there are others! To hear some additional no-no’s and how to avoid them, check out The Chalene Show below:
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