Worry. It’s something everyone chooses (even if they don’t realize it) to do. It almost always boils down to uncertainty in any given situation. “Will my kid get into that school?” “What if my husband’s biopsy doesn’t turn out benign?” “Why are they always ignoring me?”
And where there’s uncertainty, we have choice.
We choose to worry because it feels like we’re protecting ourselves. Even if we’re never consciously aware that is what’s happening. It’s a subconscious mind thing.
But doesn’t common sense tell us that it is incredibly draining and distracting to worry? It should be something you want to avoid altogether. Because in times of stress – from financial to emotional – you actually need to be at your most calm / centered / on your game. You cannot focus while you’re worried. Those two things are simply mutually exclusive.
Worrying is, ultimately, a habit. That’s good news as, we all know, habits can be ignored, broken, changed, or replaced. It’s entirely up to you. When we recognize there are people in our lives, starting from childhood, who have taught us the habit of worry… then we begin to see the light more clearly.
Who in YOUR life was a worrywart?
Did you think of someone? I’m sure it wasn’t hard. Now, God bless them, but they, involuntarily, taught you that worrying was a worthy technique in dealing with uncertainty. So, just like a cliché affirmation might say, “It’s not all your fault.”
Here’s what I want you to ask yourself: When does worrying ever make the situation better? No matter how much you qualify your response, the answer is never.
This leads me to the first of two ways to cope with worry:
First: Accept you cannot control the outcome.
No matter how much you worry about certain things, you’re not the Almighty. Your thoughts aren’t going to alter reality one bit. No matter how much you stress about any terrible scenario. Remind yourself to stay calm and use your energy on being resourceful.
News flash: You have no idea what the outcome is going to be, anyway, hence it’s pointless to come up with whatever solution before you even know the freaking problem!
To spend all that time being unhappy (because that’s what worrying does) is just going to diminish health. I also believe, and this is just my own personal belief, that there are elements of the law of attraction involved here. When we’re worried about the worst possible negative outcome, that’s what we’re thinking about, it’s what we’re focused on, and that’s what we tend to attract to us.
When we believe that everything happens to us for a reason and that there’s always good in it, which I know you know, we tend to attract more good.
The inevitable outcome is that you will come to see that this was meant to happen for you, not to you. FOR YOU.
For the next strategy on how to cope with worry (plus, a few personal anecdotes AND how blood flow in the brain affects our emotional state), definitely check out my new podcast, titled:
Remember, more than anything, dear Lifer, you’re going to survive. No matter how hard it is right now. That doesn’t mean you have to love the process or ever embrace it. It just means it doesn’t do you any good to worry.