Kids are always learning, and while parents attempt to do their best every day, parents are always learning too. If you want to do your best for your kids, you have to work on boosting their confidence because it’s only going to set them up for how they behave, react, and think as adults. It’s scary but true, and these four areas are where the most work must be done.
This is a hot spot because we know how big a deal it is as adults. So many women and men struggle with body image, and it starts in childhood. As a parent you probably think you’re doing your kid a favor by pointing out that maybe they don’t need that second snack or dessert, or that they should try sports instead of sitting inside. But I’m going to let you in on something, your kid already knows about their body and they don’t need your help pointing things out. The kids at school probably do that for them, and they are already hard on themselves as it is.
If you want to have a kid with a confidence body image, the only thing you can do is tell them they’re beautiful. That’s it, only positive feedback. They need your love and support, which can only come with kind and loving language. Don’t say anything about their weight or body, just love them and tell them they’re beautiful.
Belief in value
Kids want to feel useful and see that they belong, and one way they do that is by getting your attention. I know you want them to do great in school and excel in after school activities, but you need to praise because of who they are not what they can do. One example of this is academics. You want your kid to get good grades, but telling them they have to get all A’s or there won’t be a family vacation is the wrong motivation. This is teaching them that being successful creates value and failure creates disappointment. Kids need to struggle so they can learn, and you need to love them no matter what. Show them they’re valuable because of their kindness, persistence, and fearlessness, not because they got an A in math of scored the winning goal.
Belief they can do it
The only way to get confidence is through experience. And getting experience means you won’t always do everything right the first time. Letting kids struggle and letting them try things is how they learn. Parents that either critique each task their child does, like telling them they didn’t do their chores right or making them do something over again until it’s 100% correct will only teach them that they need to be perfect. On the other hand doing everything for your kid doesn’t let them try or fail, and teaches them that they need other people to find success. Let your kid try new things, let them struggle, know that they won’t get everything right all the time, and praise them for trying and making progress.
Your kid is learning how to feel about themselves by watching and listening to you, the parent. If you struggle with your weight for example, your kid is picking up on your habits and could be an adult with a weight issue as well. Children take cues and gain confidence from their parent, so it’s important to be a good role model. If you struggle here, think about talking to yourself as you would talk to your children. Don’t say things like you’re too fat, or shouldn’t eat carbs tonight if you won’t tell your child that. Even if you’re thinking something negative your kid will feel it, they absorb everything you say. The only way to work through this is to treat yourself with kindness and respect, and be a good role model for your kids.
Want more great tips and resources on improving balance, energy, organization, health fitness, relationships, focus, faith and happiness? Each episode of my podcast, The Chalene Show is designed to give you strategies and simple steps you can implement today to become a better, more balanced, happier version of yourself. LISTEN NOW!
Hey! Did you know Build Your Tribe has been resurrected? We had so many request to revive this show, so we brought it back. Listen Now >> https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/build-your-tribe
Already a devoted listener to The Chalene Show? Leave a voice message about what topics you’d like to hear on the show or your feedback on a particular episode >> LEAVE A MESSAGE. Chalene would also love for you to leave a review on iTunes! It’s kind of like her tip jar >> LEAVE A REVIEW.
Chalene’s Courageous Confidence Club: www.courageousconfidenceclub.com
This program gives you the tools you need to build confidence in every area of your life. You are supported by a group of people who are going through the program with you and are a sounding board for decisions and opportunities. This program will get you unstuck from your current situation and will teach you the steps needed to get your life in the direction you want!
For help with goal setting and determining your life’s priorities, check out Chalene’s 30 Day Push Program: www.30daypush.com
For health and fitness advice from Chalene, head to www.cj7day.com to download her FREE program with complementary workout videos!
Connect with Chalene:
Chalene on Facebook: www.facebook.com/chalene
Chalene on Periscope: www.periscope.com follow @chalenejohnson
Chalene on Instagram: www.instagram.com/chalenejohnson
Chalene on Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/chalenejohnson
Chalene on Twitter: www.twitter.com/chalenejohnson
Chalene on Youtube: www.youtube.com/chalenejohnson
Some of my Instagram Accounts: