Confidence is something we all could work on, and these three areas are where most people struggle. Chances are if you’re lacking confidence it probably has something to do with your body image, feeling value, or belief in yourself. From my experience you are lacking in these areas because of your childhood. Parents do the best they can, but any little criticism or comment and trigger these. I’m going to explain what they are and how you can start working on them today.
Body Image/Physical Appearance
If you’re struggling with body image issues or not feeling confident in your physical appearance, it’s because in childhood you probably heard some negative comments. Maybe you were compared to a sibling, or were told you were fat. Wherever it came from you learned quickly that you weren’t enough, and now you think you aren’t beautiful. Anything you hear during childhood about weight and appearance is destructive, unless it’s the words, “you’re beautiful.” While we can’t make up for all the times you heard negative, you can start thinking and feeling positive yourself. Start saying you’re beautiful and eventually you’ll start feeling it. Only positive thoughts will help you grow here, and getting rid of those negative voices in your head is the first step.
Belief in your value
You are a valuable individual. During childhood you probably thought you were valuable because of your good grades, athletic skill, or other talent. This is damaging because you learned that success equals value, and that failure equals detriment to the family or severe disappointment. You continued this behavior because it got you attention from your parents, being the best at basketball or first chair in band. But now you still feel that you’re only valuable when you’re doing something well, and that’s not true. You are valuable just as you are, being the individual you are. Praise yourself for being kind, persistent, confident, and fearless. Know that you provide value to your life because of the person you are skills aside.
Belief you can do it
Right now you’re probably afraid of trying something new, or taking a chance because you don’t believe you can do it. You’re afraid of trying because what if you fail? When you were a kid you were probably in one of two camps, you were either criticized for whatever you tried, or everything was done for you. Either way you feel the same now, you aren’t sure and so you won’t even attempt something. The only way to have confidence in your abilities is to gain experience, and the only way to get experience is to try. Trying new things is a guarantee that you will fail, but we only learn because we make mistakes. You have to fail a lot to succeed, so let yourself try new stuff and know that it won’t go well in the beginning. The most successful people fail the most because they aren’t afraid to try.
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